Most of you girls who have landed on this, ages 7 – before you get married, most likely have a good mental picture of what you want for your wedding — the flowers, the displays on the reception table, your ideal wedding dress, blah, blah, blah..
But do you have a good mental picture of what you want for your Marriage..
I heard this thought the other day:
Many people mistakenly plan their WEDDING more than their actual MARRIAGE..
I’m not saying you have to plan the next 30 years of post-married life. I’m saying sometimes engaged couples get so tied into wedding planning — the colors, the food, the outfits, the money involved — that they lose focus on the reason their tying the knot in the first place.
Sure – weddings take work, planning, details, etc.. but I’m thinkin’ a marriage that SHOULD last the rest of your life should no doubt take priority over a 4-5 hour cermony + reception..
By planning a marriage, I don’t mean planning a trip to the Colorado next winter — I mean really plan for a marriage and what will eventually come up..
Here’s a list of some things that you can do to plan for a marriage that not only honors each other — but honors God. (I’m using “her” throughout this list, referring to my fiance, Paige. Obviously, if your a girl, replace “her” with “him”) —> Unnecessary disclaimer..I know.
– Turn off the TV & any other distractions (cell phones, iPads, Kindles, computers, music — does the list ever end?) and look into each others’ eyes (thanks Kyle/Jen for this post)
-Ask questions about the future
-Argue a little (yes, FIGHT! speak your opinions in a respectful way)
-Find out how she processes conflict & the best way to find a common ground/solution.
-Find out little things YOU can do to make her smile..
-Talk about touchy subjects (views on topics, opinions about Obama, sex..)
-Find out how she likes her oatmeal cooked?
-Learn her passions — Make her passions your passions…her dreams your dreams.. (Thanks Nichole/Charlie)
-Talk about kids, jobs, thoughts on living locations..?
-Don’t even joke around about Divorce..
-Foretell financial situations (this is hard to do, but get on the same page on where your finances lay for the next year or so..)
-Affirm your love for her..
-Respect, Care, & put her as YOUR #2 (God as #1)
-Pray with each other/Read a YouVersion.com reading plan together..
-Go OUT of your way to make her feel valued.
-Defend her (after all, you ARE on the same team)
-Continuously love & actively support one another.
It’s so important that you know that even though you may fight, argue or whatever you do — at the end of the day, you are on a team. You are on each others side, backing up each other regardless of what may come up. So get ready, prepare your hearts and develop a healthy mindset before venturing into a life together..
(if your married already, you can take bits and pieces from this — but this is mostly for newly engaged or seriously dating couples..)