I got engaged.
I put a rock on a finger and made a commitment to constantly pursue.
A massive leap from the world of dating into a very permanent role just short of marriage. While its still soaking in, slowly but surely, being engaged to Paige Mullins is by far the most incredible thing I’ve ever experienced. Just the last 6 days — I’ve developed into a guy with a completely different mindset:
I’m preparing for a life with the girl of my dreams.
While this fact is extremely real, sometimes scary, and all-the-while freakin’ exciting — it’s something that I do not take lightly. It’s taking a huge leap of faith, trusting that God will bless your relationship in ways unimaginable. It’s telling God that you are ready to experience Him on a whole new level, with a wife.
I was at a cousin’s wedding about 5 years ago and while at the Rehearsal Dinner, the groom stood up and vowed to his Bride that he will “constantly pursue her.”
Now..the word PURSUE is defined in many contexts as this:
To strive to gain or accomplish:
To proceed along the course of; follow
To carry further; advance
To be engaged in
Something I’ve noticed in relationships is that husbands/wives stop:
- striving for more
after a certain amount of time. I’ve seen couples together for the pure fact of raising kids. I’ve seen couples that have just found out the hard way that they have become dysfunctional as a couple and in fact have NOTHING in common. I’ve seen couples who go through unexpected tragedy, thus growing apart during the grieving process. These couples are forced to almost start over and re-pursue each other.
I stumbled across this verse this morning:
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting
– Ephesians 5:25 (The Message)
Now, i’m not married yet, but am I supposed to START this process the day I get married? Don’t think so — It’s a progression through dating, into engagement, and a continuation through marriage. Not only a continuation, but a conscious effort to grow/pursue/love/engage/court/strive for more at an increasing rate, always making her feel valued, and consistently show her the love of Christ.
My aim, even through dating Paige, and especially during our engagement leading up to marriage — is to constantly pursue her. Reach out to her in new ways, listen when she needs to talk, get lost in conversation, weekly date nights without the cell phones, spontaneous surprises, massage her feet after a long day, and going out of my way to make her smile. To make her always feel loved and valued is my focus — and I’m pumped about continuing this journey into the next phase of our lives.
Paige and I would love any advice you may have during this big step towards marriage. Feel free to e-mail, tweet, FB message, text, call, or comment. (wow, technology, wow)